accidents happen

There are four kinds of bike wrecks: those due to Mechanical Failure, those due to Rider Stupidity, those due to Others' Stupidity, and those due to Natural Causes i.e. lightning, sinkholes, mountain lions, etc. As is usually the case, today's accident was 100% in the Rider Stupidity category.

I have four decades of bike wrecking experience under my belt. I'm a grizzled veteran of the two-wheeled tumble; an old pro at the slide and roll. Like I said, the vast majority of my wrecks have been caused by my own staggering lack of common sense. Early on, this was usually coupled with wheelie riding as I was the undisputed wheelie king of my block back in the day. Once, when I was about 12, I was riding a wheelie and went to jump off the back of the bike because I had pulled too hard only to find that my untied shoelace had wrapped around the pedal. As I sped along on only the back wheel, I slowly tipped over backward, unable to put my feet down, finally landing on the pavement on my back with the bike on top of me tied to my foot. Later, after my dad had come to my rescue because he'd heard me yelling at the top of my lungs, he admitted that he had no idea up until then that I could cuss like that. Another good crash occured on campus in Austin when I... well, let's just say I tried something incredibly stupid. I ended up at the Health Center with two dislocated shoulders and had to make the Sophie's Choice as to which arm would get the one sling I was allotted. I also used to enjoy riding wheelies down the length of those covered construction walkways and was doing so when my handlebar just clipped the wall inside and down I went in a bloody, splintery heap. Good times!

Today's wipeout was a bit more mundane. I was heading to work on the beach bike path, ironically considering the possibility of getting a helmet for the first time in my life. I have a shortcut through the outdoor dining area of one of those burger stands and to take it I have to ride through a ten inch gap in the curb that separates the bike path from the rest of the pavement. I was riding no-hands, of course, and thought it would "be fun" to try and shoot the gap without touching the handlebars. Naturally, mayhem ensued.

It's been a long time since I've wrecked my bike and as I picked myself up today - not daring to look at the people gawking as they passed by, hoping they hadn't seen the whole idiotic thing unfold - I found a certain comfort in the familiarity of it all, the dull pain from the bloody holes in my palms, the sting of the strawberry on my elbow, the new aches in my legs, the humility. Regardless of the circumstances or which of the four types of accidents you find yourself in, the bike wreck experience is always the same - one moment you're riding along happy as a clam, there's a split-second "uh-oh!", and the next thing you know you're on the ground, embarrassed, in pain, and assessing the damage. It's nice to know that some things just never change.

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